Sweet Moron

I called her up at midnight

To say I can’t go on

She told me I should be asleep

Then she called me Sweet Moron

 

I called her back at 1 am

To tell her life is hard

She told me I remind her of

The neighborhood retard

 

I told her Life is cruel

And wisdom comes with pain

She raised her voice to fever pitch

With “What’s that? Come again”

 

Chorus:

So I’m goin to wade into the sea

Till my body can’t go on

And leave a note behind that says

“Yours truly, Sweet Moron”

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

I asked her if she loved me

She smiled and gave a sigh

And told me she’d be happy to

If I could only tell her why

 

I asked her if she’d meet me

At a fast food down the street

She told me since she had a choice

She’d rather starve than eat

 

Chorus

 

I asked her if she’d marry me

So we could make a start

She told me, “bad enough we’re friends

For God’s sake, have a heart”

 

I asked her to be gentle

And treat me with concern

She told me to hold on a bit

She could smell the dinner burn

 

So I told her I would end it all

With a blade across my wrist

She told me not to be a fool

I could die of tetanus

 

Chorus