Sweet Moron

I called her up at midnight

To say I can’t go on

She told me I should be asleep

Then she called me Sweet Moron


I called her back at 1 am

To tell her life is hard

She told me I remind her of

The neighborhood retard


I told her Life is cruel

And wisdom comes with pain

She raised her voice to fever pitch

With “What’s that? Come again”



So I’m goin to wade into the sea

Till my body can’t go on

And leave a note behind that says

“Yours truly, Sweet Moron”

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh


I asked her if she loved me

She smiled and gave a sigh

And told me she’d be happy to

If I could only tell her why


I asked her if she’d meet me

At a fast food down the street

She told me since she had a choice

She’d rather starve than eat




I asked her if she’d marry me

So we could make a start

She told me, “bad enough we’re friends

For God’s sake, have a heart”


I asked her to be gentle

And treat me with concern

She told me to hold on a bit

She could smell the dinner burn


So I told her I would end it all

With a blade across my wrist

She told me not to be a fool

I could die of tetanus





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